About 1 — isitjosh

A Collection of Short Stories About the Heart Lyrics

1 - JUST TELL ME

I don't know why ya

Gotta leave me in the dark now

I won't try no more

Don't be playing with my heart no

I was much better on my own

Hidden so safely

Slide your hands down my face my throat

Where you've been aiming

I just wanna know

Do you even wanna talk now

You turned out so cold

At least I'm good for a rebound

Hi do you even wanna talk now

Do you even wanna take me off block now

Why are you giving me the runaround

Everything was fine

Would've rather been shot down

Are you really gonna act like a ghost now

Lie, tell me anything you want to

Please just tell me

You're like a glimmer of sunshine

When all I really needed was moonlight

Forced your way into the door

Acted like you wanted more

Left your lipstick on my floor ya

On your way

Out of sight and out of mind

You got yours so I'll get mine

I don't feel like wasting time

If you see me don't say

Hi, do you even wanna talk now

Do you even wanna take me off block now

Why are you giving me the runaround

Everything was fine

Would've rather been shot down

Are you really gonna act like a ghost now

Lie, tell me anything you want to

Please just tell me

(Do you even wanna talk now)

Please just tell me

(Anything you want to, anything you want to)

Please just tell me

(Do you even wanna talk now)

Please just tell me

(Anything you want to, anything you want to)

Please just tell me why

2 - get it right

Can I really take it

Can I do this on my own

Will I ever shake this feeling

That I'll end up all alone

I was floating off the ground

When the storm rolled in

I was falling faster and faster

While I ignored every hand

Do you think that's why

I crave attention

But fear rejection

I cry out for help then

I'll take it all back in a second

Terrified of where I came from

Now I'm scared of what's to still come

What if I could just go back in time

Would I even get it right

It feels like I'm making progress

Or am I losing stride

Am I regressing

Stressing

Messing up all of my

Lines

All of the

Time

Do you think that's why

I crave attention

But fear rejection

I cry out for help then

I'll take it all back in a second

Terrified of where I came from

Now I'm scared of what's to still come

What if I could just go back in time

Would I even get it right

Terrified of where I came from

Now I'm scared of what's to still come

What if I could just go back in time

Would I even get it right

Could I even get it right

3 - tony hawk

Something about this just seems off

You don't know me but you still talk

About my clothes

About my hair

Hey I liked your post do you even care

So you see me on your little screen

The one you use to talk to me

A picture perfect muse

For you to paint me as you please

Want me to be something that I'm not

Your skater boy like Tony Hawk

Cuff my pants and show my socks

Maybe I should cut my ugh

Fuck it not my locks

Want me to be what I can't be

You're watching me through my IG

Parasocial absentee

Not there for you

You're not there for me

Something about this seems so wrong

Talk about me like I don't watch

The awful things you say to me

But not direct like I can't read

And everybody has opinions

And nobody wants to give in

Is my constant state of paranoia easily perceived

Want me to be something that I'm not

Your skater boy like Tony Hawk

Cuff my pants and show my socks

Maybe I should cut my ugh

Fuck it not my locks

Want me to be what I can't be

You're watching me through my IG

Parasocial absentee

Not there for you

You're not there for me

You always talk like that?

I love this, I love that

But I do, I really do

Yea but I mean you shouldn't tell people

Why not?

Because people will think you're dumb

Want me to be something that I'm not

Your skater boy like Tony Hawk

Cuff my pants and show my socks

Maybe I should cut my ugh

Fuck it not my locks

Want me to be what I can't be

You're watching me through my IG

Parasocial absentee

Not there for you

You're not there for me

Not there for you, you're not there for me

(Cuff my pants and show my socks)

Not there for you, you're not there for me

(Want me to be what I can't be)

Not there for you, you're not there for me

(Skater boy like Tony Hawk)

Not there for you, you're not there for me

4 - GATEWAY DRUG

Like a gateway drug your plug

A quick stop on your way to love

Said you needed space but I know what the truth is

When you find your next fix

Hope you don't abuse it

Told me to be careful

Told me not to hurt you

Said that you had it rough

Said you're feeling see through

All that you have been through

Yea I know that it was tough

I tried to send you a letter

You said it never showed

I know you said you had feelings

I guess they never showed

I watched your face light up was it the afterglow

I guess you can't plant flowers where they'll never grow

Like a gateway drug your plug

A quick stop on your way to love

Said you needed space but I know what the truth is

When you find your next fix

Hope you don't abuse it

Like a gateway drug your plug

A quick stop on your way to love

Said you needed space but I know what the truth is

When you find your next fix

Hope you don't abuse it

Treat me gentle baby I could be your SOS

When you need me

Tell me that you need me less

Now it's getting late

Did you see my text

I know what happens next

I remember how your eyes lit up at the first taste

Just a twist in your plot I could see it on your face

Like a gateway drug your plug

A quick stop on your way to love

Said you needed space but I know what the truth is

When you find your next fix

Hope you don't abuse it

Like a gateway drug your plug

A quick stop on your way to love

Said you needed space but I know what the truth is

When you find your next fix

Hope you don't abuse it

5 - missed connection

Sometimes you’re on my mind

I know it’s the wrong time but it’s just how you feel

I can see it in your eyes

You’re shy but you don’t mind when I get too close

You’re staring back at me

Begging me not to leave

We won’t say it out loud

No not here right now

No not here, not now

So I’ll walk you home

And I’ll hold your hand

You don’t need to worry cause I understand

Pull me in close as you spin away

We’ll keep up this dance until we’re in our graves

It’s the wrong time it’s the wrong place

Never ever seems to fall in line

Growing older, never colder

Be together in a different life

Staring back at me

Begging me not leave

So I’ll walk you home

And I’ll hold your hand

You don’t need to worry cause I understand

Pull me in close as you spin away

We’ll keep up this dance until we’re in our graves

A missed connection

(say what’s in your head, say what’s in your head)

A missed connection

Never know, never know

No, No

Say what’s in your head

Say what’s in your head (Hmm)

Say what’s in your head

Say what’s in your head (Hmm)

6 - life of the party

You were running the wrong way

If you asked me then I’d wait

Said you needed an escape

You were so reassuring

You weren’t there like I was

I’m chasing dreams you’re a cheap buzz

Left me falling apart but

Now you’re singing that you’re the

Life of the party

You’ll call back when it’s over

Wasted and lonely

Spending the years hungover

Chasing and falling

Been there before you’ll be back again

Again, yea

Life of the party

I still can’t feel my face

I’m still running away

My legs are starting to fade

As it kicks in

Been lyin bout the drugs I’m takin

You been lyin bout your love you’re fakin

What the fuck does it take to make it

Love wasted, I’m wasted

Life of the party

Not knowing when it’s over

I hear her calling

Now I wish I was sober

Chasing and falling

Been here before we’ll be back again

Again, yea

Life of the party

Life of the party yea

And you’ll do it again

Are you running again

Now I’m gone

And you’ll do it again

Are you running again

Life of the party

You’ll call back when it’s over

Wasted and lonely

Spending the years hungover

Chasing and falling

Been there before you’ll be back again

Again, yea

7 - spring fling

I don’t really wanna complicate things

We won’t ever see eye to eye

I don’t really wanna talk about it

You don’t wanna know what it’s really like

So maybe I should just stop pretending

Or else I might really lose my mind
I don’t really wanna talk about it

They say I’m blue but I’m colorblind

So pick me up or watch me fall

Cause I’m about to break

I’m casting shadows on the walls

Of a past I can’t escape

Running away from all these nothings

Wanting something, something I never had (No)

Want it all but I’m so shaken up

I’m not so sturdy so please don’t hurt me

Outside lookin in prolly looks like a party

Everybody left being lonely is my hobby

Glaring at the mirror like I can’t stand my body

In another city but I can’t leave the lobby (Ah)

Focusing on my flaws

Do you wanna compare scars

Heart isn’t cold it’s charred

Shouldn’t have made it this far

So pick me up or watch me fall

Cause I’m about to break

I’m casting shadows on the walls

Of a past I can’t escape

Running away from all these nothings

Wanting something, something I never had (No)

Want it all but I’m so shaken up

I’m not so sturdy so please don’t hurt me

(Woo)
(Let’s go!)

Running away from all these nothings

Wanting something, something I never had (No)

Want it all but I’m so shaken up

I’m not so sturdy so please don’t hurt me
Running away from all these nothings

Wanting something, something I never had (No)

Want it all but I’m so shaken up

I’m not so sturdy so please don’t hurt me

8 - can’t take back

Last minute on the first flight

It’s been a while since I closed my eyes

If you wanna we can talk about it

I’ll be there before midnight

You could cut the tension in the room

I said “I missed you, missed you”

If you wanna we could start it over

Cause I don’t wanna run

If I meant it why’d I look so sad

Told you everything in my head

Gave you everything that I had

It’s the kind of love you can’t take back

You can’t take back

No you can’t take back

No, no

Something’s not right this time

There’s so much pain in your eyes

So if I can’t fix it tonight

I’m coming back tomorrow

Said you like my sweater you can keep it

Tell me all your wishes and your secrets

I’ll be there in five if you want a ride

Baby you can even pick the playlist

If I meant it why’d I look so sad

Told you everything in my head

Gave you everything that I had

It’s the kind of love you can’t take back

You can’t take back

No you can’t take back

No, no

If you wanna we can talk about it

I’ll be there before midnight

If you wanna we can start it over

Cause I don’t wanna run

If you wanna we can talk about it (something’s not)

I’ll be there before midnight (right this time)

If you wanna we can start it over (something’s not)

Cause I don’t wanna run (right this time)

If I meant it why’d I look so sad

Told you everything in my head

Gave you everything that I had

It’s the kind of love you can’t take back

You can’t take back

No you can’t take back

No, no

(Something’s not)You can’t take back

(Right this time) No you can’t take back

(Something’s not) No you can’t take back

(Right this time) No, no

9 - not over it

I don’t know how we ended up here

I’m on the gas while you’re sippin through tears

Did you throw away the polaroids of you and me, girl

I was hoping you’d stay but you always want change

I was scared of the things that you got me to say

It’s like you pulled me in close so you could lie to my face

Yea you wanted the world with someone else in my place

But I miss you

Not over it, not over you

But I know that there’s some things you have to do

You have to learn to love you too

Not giving up, not growing cold

But I know that there’s some things I gotta do

I gotta learn to love me too

Not over it, not over you (you)

I keep them hidden away

The lies you say to my face

Cause god I really don’t wanna be alone again

And every word that you say

I’ll do my best to relate

Cause maybe then I’ll never end up on the ground again

You look so pretty with your hair let down

Covers your eyes when you lie to me now

Do what you want if it keeps you around (oh)

Baby you could tear my heart out (you could)

I’d still miss you

Not over it, not over you

But I know that there’s some things you have to do

You have to learn to love you too

Not giving up, not growing cold

But I know that there’s some things I gotta do

I gotta learn to love me too

Not over it, not over you (you)

Whoo!

Got over it, got over you

Cause I know there’s some things you put me through

I couldn’t ever do to you

Got over it, got over you

Cause I know that there something that I can’t do

I’ll never learn to love with you

10 - joshville pt 2

Well I’ve been hurt a time or two

Kicked, shoved, and broken more than bruised

And it’s gotten warm the thought of staying here with you

And I swore I’d never love again

Last time I almost broke in two

But it’s just so dull without you here

I think I’d rather dance with you

I can’t live without it

The way you dance around

And my heart beat skips

When I’m in your arms, your arms

I can’t find the words to say

Take my breath away and I’ll

Keep you safe when you’re in my arms, my arms

And so we tried to brush it off

Pretend like we could never work

How did I ever get so lucky

I never get what I deserve
And it’s been so lonely on my own

These nights are getting long and cold

Thought it was me, myself, and I

But now I finally found mine (Hey, hey!)

I can’t live without it

The way you dance around

And my heart beat skips

When I’m in your arms, your arms

I can’t find the words to say

Take my breath away and I’ll

Keep you safe when you’re in my arms, my arms

Hey, hey!

I can’t live without it

The way you dance around

And my heart beat skips

When I’m in your arms, your arms

I can’t find the words to say

Take my breath away and I’ll

Keep you safe when you’re in my arms, my arms

11 - DOWN BAD

So you got me trippin over words

Really got me tied tongue

Can I get you drink something or eat

I’ll save a seat, the next on is one me

Let me try again can I take you for a coffee

Why do I want you so bad

I don’t want anyone ahhh

I should run away so fast

How did I end up so down bad

Smiling at my cell phone even got a ringtone

Waiting to hit send so they don’t think i’m

Despo-cido in my headphones think I hit a deadzone

See you in mentions wish it was my bed though

(isitjosh)

Why do I want you so bad

I don’t want anyone ahhh

I should run away so fast

How did I end up so down bad

Down bad, down bad

Oh how did I end up so bad

When I wanna be up

She’s keeping me down

Keeping me down (ha ha ha)

But I wanna be up

Oh I wanna be up, she’s got me down

I wanna be up

Oh she’s got me down bad (hah)

Why do I want you so bad

I don’t want anyone ahhh

I should run away so fast

How did I end up so down bad

How did I end up so down bad (ha ha ha)

12 - people pleaser

She's a people pleaser so you'll

Never believe her when

She tells you that she's had enough

It's like nobody sees her only

Just when they need her

So she's gotta face it all on her own

She grew up on the other side of town

Raised herself with nobody else around

Never had a lot but she gave it all

Didn't have too much

No missed calls so she's sleeping by her phone

Alone feels better when she's in total control so

Maybe it'd be better if she disappeared

Cause they don't even think about her when she's here

When she's here, when she's here

She's a people pleaser so you'll

Never believe her when she

Tells you that she's had enough

It's like nobody sees her

Only just when they need her

So she's gotta face it all on her own

She tries so hard to put on her smile

Gave all her love but it doesn't matter

A people pleaser yea you'll

Never believe her when she tells you that she's had enough

Yea she's had enough

Girl why you so in love with the background

She could be the star but she's paying for their next round

Yea she's knows they'll stay if she plays her part

She's got it down to an art

One missed call but it's ringing in the background

Chose herself so you gotta earn her back now

You won't get very far cause she knows she's a star

No you won't get very far

She's a people pleaser so you'll

Never believe her when she

Tells you that she's had enough

It's like nobody sees her

Only just when they need her

So she's gotta face it all on her own

She tries so hard to put on her smile

Gave all her love but it doesn't matter

A people pleaser yea you'll

Never believe her when she tells you that she's had enough

Yea she's had enough

Yea she's had enough, enough, enough

Yea she's had enough

Yea she's had enough, enough, enough

Yea she's had enough

13 - BAD NIGHT BANSHEE

(Unintelligible)

14 - feel low

If I disappear

From the things I cherish

Maybe go to Paris

Could be anywhere

If I slip away

Would I still get nervous

So go ahead and save it

I'll be patient

I don't need it now

Why do I always feel like I am missing out

So how is it from up there

Cause I feel low

You couldn't handle this I swear

When I feel low

Cause I feel low

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh

Ya I feel low

Whoa oh oh whoa oh oh

Ya I feel low

I saunter slowly in an empty room inside my head

When summer comes I hope that I will be ok by then

Tangled knots, threading hearts

Needles turn my fingers red

Wanderlust, have I lost the will to leave my bed

Shut eyes, wide awake

An artificial breeze

Catacomb, ossuary

Is it gonna rain

Bright sky, never mind

No that was yesterday

Dark sheets, mattress

A final resting place

So go ahead and save it

I'll be patient

I don't need it now

Why do I always feel like I am missing out

So how is it from up there

Cause I feel low

You couldn't handle this I swear

When I feel low

Cause I feel low

Whoa oh oh whoa oh oh

Ya I feel low

Whoa oh oh whoa oh oh

Ya I feel low

So how is it from up there

Cause I feel low

You couldn't handle this I swear

When I feel low

Cause I feel low

Whoa oh oh whoa oh oh

Ya I feel low

Whoa oh oh whoa oh oh

Ya I feel low

15- i used to dream

Lately I’ve been in my head overthinking constantly

Maybe I should paint this red

Cause the white looks dull to me

Living in my bed

Eyes open cause I’m scared to dream

Waking up and spitting red

Grinding calcium in my sleep again

And you said you need a little space

You don’t really want the company right now

Well I’ve been thinking of a place

Where I can hide beneath a willow tree

I’d carve my name and fall asleep

To remind myself I used to dream

I used to dream

16 - watching anime

This is the climax of the season

I keep pausing and rewinding

It’s in japanese and I need to read the subtitles

I’m distracted and lost in something resembling thoughts

Meticulously poring over the details of my weekend

Why am I already forgetting

I was laughing wasn’t I

They were laughing with me

Pause

I just looked up the maximum Klonopin dose

I didn’t look at the answer

I should put my phone down

Unpause

Should I tell someone I just searched that

No, I should save that for when I have the money for therapy

Or I’ll write about it later then tear out the page

And burn it in some dramatic and romanticized way

Wait what did I just miss

Rewind

I’m thinking about how many it would take

Or if I would notice it happening

I have 100 of them

100 weighted blankets to help me fall asleep forever

Why did they give me 100

Rewind

I can’t do it because I want to achieve my unrealistic dreams

And I am delusional

I’m having an argument with a record label

They think I’m too old to sign

I’m making points about other signed artists my age

They tell me those artists already made it in their twenties

We keep arguing and we both make good points

But I’m losing

This label doesn’t exist

Neither does this man I’m talking to in my head

Or this conversation

Rewind

I fight the intense desire to tell everyone I love

But no one would understand

My heart is pounding and there’s a sharp pain

Wait my heart isn’t pounding it just feels like it is

Pause

No, it’s pounding

I can see my shirt bouncing up and down

From some unseen force

Is it cold in here

Why am I sweating

The outro song is playing

I need to restart this episode

17 - typical ft Kellin Quinn

What if I could wake up

Without a hammer for a heartbeat

Would the world go on without me

It’s all so typical

I wish I could leave

Cause I don’t really wanna be here

I don’t really like my body

Let me be anyone else

What if I was enough?

Maybe I could learn to love me

Maybe I could see what you see

I could be so typical

What if I could be loved?

What if I could be someone

Anyone

Anyone but me

It’s so typical

When I lose control

I say things I don’t mean

My brain vs my body

Maybe I should go

I’m better alone

Where nobody sees me

I wish I could be neurotypical

Neurotypical

I wish I could be neurotypical

Neurotypical

What if I could move on

Why the hell has it taken me so long

To see all the good that’s around me

Instead of all the fear that’s surrounding

Sometimes I feel like a no one

Other days I feel like I’ll finally become

The person I always dreamed of

Instead of the one I’m running from

Do you ever look in the mirror

And see nobody staring back

Wonder how it is you got here

It doesn’t have to be like that

I was just a hoping

I wasn’t all alone

I’m tired of doing it on my own

If there’s anybody out there

Could you help me find my way up out of here?

It’s so typical

When I lose control

I say things I don’t mean

My brain vs my body

Maybe I should go

I’m better alone

Where nobody sees me

I wish I could be neurotypical (neurotypical)

Neurotypical (wish I could be, wish I could be)

I wish I could be neurotypical (neurotypical)

Neurotypical

La da da da da da da

18 - UNCLEAR

I saw you standing there

Smoking your last cigarette

You always needed something from me

I fought away your fears

Helped you learn to talk again (Shit)

And you asked if I had any money (Yep)

Your fingers in my hair

I told you I was feeling scared

And I watched you take your eyes off of me

You said "boy go home

Save yourself alone

Alone"

I was in the right place at the wrong time

Think I took a bad turn at the last sign

I wiped away my eyes but it's blurry and it's still unclear

I didn't make your burden why's it mine to bear

And you know that it's not right

Way you left it makes me feel like I might die

I caught up with your lies so you're running and you're unaware

I thought you were the one but you're unprepared

And now you left me with no answers

I can't shut off my fucking mind

Oh you said you wouldn't do this, my love

You promised you were mine

It's like I'm ripping out my throat

To stop myself from reaching out

Do you even understand how much you fucking let me down?

I saw him sitting there

Lighting your last cigarette

You were always getting up to something

Your fingers in his hair

You became the one I feared

And you asked if I had any money

You said "boy go home

Save yourself alone

Alone"

I was in the right place at the wrong time

Think I took a bad turn at the last sign

I wiped away my eyes but it's blurry and it's still unclear

I didn't make your burden why's it mine to bear

And you know that it's not right

Way you left it makes me feel like I might die

I caught up with your lies so you're running and you're unaware

I thought you were the one but you're unprepared

And now you left me with no answers

I can't shut off my fucking mind

Oh you said you wouldn't do this, my love

You promised you were mine

It's like I'm ripping out my throat

To stop myself from reaching out

Do you even understand how much you fucking let me down?

Did you ever stop to think about me?

When you're lying there with him do you say the things you said to me?

Three years, did you ever really mean it?

When you said "I love you forever"

You said "I love you forever"